Don’t Be Small for Anyone

Stop shrinking to make others comfortable—take up the space you deserve.

Hello, I’m Jenn and if you are new here, welcome to Naturally Healing. This space is where I explore mindful, slow living for wellbeing and celebrate the power of nature to help us heal and thrive. This Stack is about honouring yourself—your voice, your needs, and your growth—without apology. It’s about embracing who you are, rather than shrinking to fit expectations. Here, I share reflections on self-care, resilience, and the ways we can live more authentically in a world that often asks us to be less.

If that sounds like something you need, stick around. Let’s grow, heal, and take up space—together.

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I once heard a phrase that stuck with me: Don’t shrink yourself to fit into places you’ve outgrown. At the time, I nodded along, thinking it was a nice sentiment. But the older I get, the more I realise how many of us—especially women—make ourselves smaller without even noticing.

We lower our voices.
We soften our opinions.
We downplay our successes.
We say, Oh, it was nothing when it was absolutely something.

We do it at work, in friendships, in relationships. We shrink to avoid making others uncomfortable. We make ourselves more palatable, more accommodating, less too much. But here’s the thing—your life isn’t meant to be spent making sure everyone else is at ease while you contort yourself into a shape that no longer fits.

The Fear of Being ‘Too Much’

There’s an unspoken expectation, especially for women, to be just the right amount of everything—smart, but not intimidating. Confident, but not arrogant. Strong, but not difficult. Ambitious, but not threatening. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?

How many times have you held back an idea in a meeting because you didn’t want to seem pushy? Or swallowed a truth because you worried it would make someone uncomfortable? Or let someone take up space in your life long after they stopped deserving it, just to avoid confrontation?

We do these things because we’re taught, directly or indirectly, that being too much—too outspoken, too assertive, too sure of ourselves—is something to apologise for.

But what if we stopped apologising?

When ‘Teasing’ Starts to Hurt

I’ve always been told I talk too much. I used to laugh it off, playing along like it was just a harmless joke. But lately, it’s started to bother me.

At work, especially when parents’ evening is looming, the comments always come: Don’t talk too much! It’s said with a smile, a little teasing remark that’s meant to be lighthearted. But when you hear the same thing over and over again, it stops feeling like a joke.

I’ve started to wonder—what’s so wrong with talking? Isn’t communication one of my strengths? I build relationships through conversation. I connect with people, reassure them, help them feel heard. So why is that something I’m supposed to tone down?

It’s a subtle way of being told to be less. Less expressive, less engaged, less me. And the more I think about it, the more I realise how often we’re given these messages—directly or indirectly—to shrink ourselves.

Expanding Instead of Shrinking

Imagine what would happen if you took up all the space you were meant to. If you spoke with your full voice. If you refused to make yourself small for the comfort of others.

• If you shared your wins without downplaying them.

• If you walked into rooms knowing you deserve to be there.

• If you stopped second-guessing whether you’re too much and started asking whether the space you’re in is too little for you.

This doesn’t mean being arrogant or disregarding others—it means honouring yourself fully. It means recognising that people who expect you to shrink are often the ones afraid of your growth.

The Right People Won’t Ask You to Shrink

The right people—the ones who truly see you—will never ask you to be less than you are. They’ll celebrate your voice, your ideas, your presence. They won’t flinch when you take up space; they’ll make room for you. And they’ll inspire you to do the same for them.

So, if you find yourself in spaces where you feel like you have to shrink, ask yourself: Is this really where I belong?

And if the answer is no, don’t contort yourself to fit. Find a place that fits you.

Take care,

Jenn x