For a long time now, I’ve laughed it off when people say I talk too much but recently it’s really bothered me. I started to question why people think they have the right to chip away at someone’s confidence 😞🤎
Jenn, this piece is so powerful. The idea of shrinking ourselves to fit others’ comfort zones really resonated with me. It’s something I’ve noticed too—how often we dim our own light to avoid making others feel uneasy, especially as women. I love how you’re unapologetically encouraging us to take up the space we deserve, without shrinking or apologising for our existence.
The story about being told you talk too much really struck me. It’s one of those subtle ways society tries to silence us, even when our voices are our strength. We shouldn’t have to apologise for expressing ourselves or for having opinions. Communication is a gift, not something to be downplayed.
Thank you for your honesty and for creating this space where we can embrace who we truly are. I’m excited to continue growing, healing, and taking up space with you. 🌟
I have been contemplating whether to write this for a while. Last week really made me stop in my tracks, actually feeling like the butt of a joke really hurt. All the while, the same people ‘teasing’ me, continued to be the version of themselves they wanted to be. It was like I was standing in the sidelines watching in on something but not being allowed to play.
When I got my current job, the fact that I put building relationships (and connecting with people based on mutual respect) before the teaching was praised. And now, in just a few short years it feels like the tide has turned.
I don’t want people to be made to feel the way I have. I want them to be proud of the voice they have and use it without any second guessing.
Thank you for taking the time to write such a lovely comment, I really value your opinion 🤎
I hear you, and I’m so sorry you had to experience that. It’s tough when you’re giving your all to connect and build relationships, only to feel sidelined. The way people treat us really says more about them than it does about us, but that doesn’t make it any easier. You deserve to be seen and heard, just as you are. Keep standing strong in your truth and using your voice—people who appreciate you will be drawn to that. Thank you for sharing this, and I’m really glad my comment could offer some support! 🤎
Love this and I agree, the right people won't want you to shrink. They'll want you to be you because they feel more alive around your energy. It's okay if others aren't okay with you but you should never allow those people to make you feel bad for being yourself. As long as you're not hurting anyone, be yourself and you'll find the right people! 💙
Hey Sean, I'm so sorry for not getting back to you sooner. Substack doesn't always show me all of my notifications so I have to periodically check each post for comments and I always find I've missed a few. Thank you for taking the time to read and leave a comment, I really appreciate it 🤎
I absolutely love your views on this, I couldn't agree more!
Hi Jennifer, that’s no problem at all. I still don’t understand the notifications on here and how they work haha! Thanks for your reply though, I hope you’re doing well <3
I see what you mean by the unspoken expectations of a woman. My wife and I have discussed this together and to our now grown boys. We raised them to believe that the true power of a man is not these expectations but in the sincere belief that women are capable of
everything that they are and much more. Treat them as you would treat yourself. We are all equal players in this world. 🌎 💟
Shrinking to fit a space was something I was very comfortable doing. Once . That version of me seems like a dead person to me now . I’ll not like her myself if I get to meet her. I don’t try to alter my opinions, guessing the room. I dress the way I want without thinking about what others might think and I definitely allow myself more to be myself and it’s the most liberating thing I’ve ever done!
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment Madhumitha, I really appreciate it 🤎
I'm so glad to hear you are no longer shrinking yourself to fit with other people's ideas of what you should be or how you should behave. I love that you are taking up space in this world!
This is such a wonderful piece, Jen! I admire your courage and rawness in putting these sentiments into words—something so many of us experience. We often downplay our achievements just so we don’t stand out or as a way of being sensitive to others’ feelings. But honestly, we are not responsible for how others feel when we express joy over our accomplishments.
And I completely agree with the last part where you said, The Right People Won’t Ask You to Shrink. Recently, I’ve been spending less and less time with people who can’t be happy for the things that bring me joy. By doing this, I’ve not only gained more energy for myself but also for those who genuinely celebrate my wins—people who actually enjoy listening to my ramblings. Energy is such a limited resource, especially for me, and I’ve learned to conserve it for my own well-being and for the people who truly matter.
I can’t remember where I heard or read this, but someone once said that the people we truly trust aren’t necessarily the ones we reach out to when we’re at our lowest—because, in those moments, we often have many we can turn to. But when you think about it, there are only a few people you instinctively want to call or message when something great happens, whether big or small.
And for me, that couldn’t be more true. More and more, I’ve realized that I celebrate my wins with just a very few of my friends and family—the ones who genuinely share in my happiness.
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment, I really appreciate your insight.
I agree, we should be able to embrace and cheer our accomplishments without fear of what others might say. We spend so much time giving our energy to the wrong people. Letting go of those who can’t share in our joy makes room for others who truly want to be our cheerleaders in life.
Your comment about who we turn to is absolutely spot on. When we need help or support our gut instinct leads us to who we need. And often, that’s just one person. Even though it can change depending on the situation, the list is small.
Here’s to knowing who to turn to when we want to celebrate our wins 🥰🤎
I had a friend that I dearly loved. We were on the same wave length and could talk for hours every day. The only thing that didn't fit into the perfect picture of us was this constant feeling of having to hold back parts of me. I didn't talk about certain topics, bit my tongue at times, knowing it could cause conflict or touch a topic she'd react sensitive about.
From one day to another she was out of my life. Or was I out of hers? She didn't respond to my messages, no more daily calls, nothing. It took me a long time to reflect on our relationship and work through all the emotions. I realized that we were only great together when I wasn't fully myself. She never asked to, I am not blaming her. But it was an important lesson to learn. I want to be fully me. if this is a reason not to be friends, let's not be friends.
Thank you for your post. It really resonated with me!
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, I really appreciate you taking the time to leave such an open and honest comment. I’m sorry for the delay in responding, I somehow missed the notification.
I can completely relate to your experience with your friendship. I’ve had similar. It’s so hard to remain friends with someone when you can’t be fully yourself. Although it’s a shame to lose a friendship, in the long run it’s much healthier to let go of it if you can’t be your true self. 🥰🤎
I love this phrase from your post "Don’t shrink yourself to fit into places you’ve outgrown"
So true.
Thank you for reading and commenting Rodney, I really appreciate it 🤎
I'm glad to do it. More people need your message.
Jenn this is incredible! And such a good reminder to us all. Thanks for posting, you wrote so beautifully xxx
Thank you so much, I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
For a long time now, I’ve laughed it off when people say I talk too much but recently it’s really bothered me. I started to question why people think they have the right to chip away at someone’s confidence 😞🤎
Jenn, this piece is so powerful. The idea of shrinking ourselves to fit others’ comfort zones really resonated with me. It’s something I’ve noticed too—how often we dim our own light to avoid making others feel uneasy, especially as women. I love how you’re unapologetically encouraging us to take up the space we deserve, without shrinking or apologising for our existence.
The story about being told you talk too much really struck me. It’s one of those subtle ways society tries to silence us, even when our voices are our strength. We shouldn’t have to apologise for expressing ourselves or for having opinions. Communication is a gift, not something to be downplayed.
Thank you for your honesty and for creating this space where we can embrace who we truly are. I’m excited to continue growing, healing, and taking up space with you. 🌟
I have been contemplating whether to write this for a while. Last week really made me stop in my tracks, actually feeling like the butt of a joke really hurt. All the while, the same people ‘teasing’ me, continued to be the version of themselves they wanted to be. It was like I was standing in the sidelines watching in on something but not being allowed to play.
When I got my current job, the fact that I put building relationships (and connecting with people based on mutual respect) before the teaching was praised. And now, in just a few short years it feels like the tide has turned.
I don’t want people to be made to feel the way I have. I want them to be proud of the voice they have and use it without any second guessing.
Thank you for taking the time to write such a lovely comment, I really value your opinion 🤎
I hear you, and I’m so sorry you had to experience that. It’s tough when you’re giving your all to connect and build relationships, only to feel sidelined. The way people treat us really says more about them than it does about us, but that doesn’t make it any easier. You deserve to be seen and heard, just as you are. Keep standing strong in your truth and using your voice—people who appreciate you will be drawn to that. Thank you for sharing this, and I’m really glad my comment could offer some support! 🤎
You are absolutely right, it does say more about them than us. 🤎
Thank you for sharing this. This is a nice compliment to "The Worthy Mindset."
Love this and I agree, the right people won't want you to shrink. They'll want you to be you because they feel more alive around your energy. It's okay if others aren't okay with you but you should never allow those people to make you feel bad for being yourself. As long as you're not hurting anyone, be yourself and you'll find the right people! 💙
Hey Sean, I'm so sorry for not getting back to you sooner. Substack doesn't always show me all of my notifications so I have to periodically check each post for comments and I always find I've missed a few. Thank you for taking the time to read and leave a comment, I really appreciate it 🤎
I absolutely love your views on this, I couldn't agree more!
Hi Jennifer, that’s no problem at all. I still don’t understand the notifications on here and how they work haha! Thanks for your reply though, I hope you’re doing well <3
I see what you mean by the unspoken expectations of a woman. My wife and I have discussed this together and to our now grown boys. We raised them to believe that the true power of a man is not these expectations but in the sincere belief that women are capable of
everything that they are and much more. Treat them as you would treat yourself. We are all equal players in this world. 🌎 💟
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment 🤎
It sounds to me that you and your wife have been sending an incredible message to your sons. It's an amazing thing to do 🤎
Appreciate the sentiment not so sure the boys would agree 100 % but you do what you think is right.
Really really loved this. Speaking to my soul, Salwa! Today I am going start practicing how to walk into rooms knowing I deserve to be there.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed this article🤎
Thank you for this reminder. This was my resolution for 2025. Being true to myself. Unapologetically and Proudly.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment 🤎
I think you chose the perfect resolution for 2025 🤎
Wow. This was beautiful to read. I stumbled on your words at the exact right time. Thank you so much for writing this 🙏
Thank you for taking the time to read and for your kind words, I really appreciate it 🤎
This! My whole life I’ve learned I should not be a burden. I’m so tired of it!
Own your space! 🤎
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment 🤎
Love this thank you Jennifer ❤️
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, I'm glad you enjoyed it 🤎
Goosebumps! Such a powerful piece and wonderful reminder.
Yenara, thank you for taking the time to read and comment. It means so much to read your kind words 🤎
Great piece -- short and impactful. The title should be a tattoo on my arm.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment Greg 🤎
Maybe we should both get the tattoo!
Shrinking to fit a space was something I was very comfortable doing. Once . That version of me seems like a dead person to me now . I’ll not like her myself if I get to meet her. I don’t try to alter my opinions, guessing the room. I dress the way I want without thinking about what others might think and I definitely allow myself more to be myself and it’s the most liberating thing I’ve ever done!
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment Madhumitha, I really appreciate it 🤎
I'm so glad to hear you are no longer shrinking yourself to fit with other people's ideas of what you should be or how you should behave. I love that you are taking up space in this world!
This is such a wonderful piece, Jen! I admire your courage and rawness in putting these sentiments into words—something so many of us experience. We often downplay our achievements just so we don’t stand out or as a way of being sensitive to others’ feelings. But honestly, we are not responsible for how others feel when we express joy over our accomplishments.
And I completely agree with the last part where you said, The Right People Won’t Ask You to Shrink. Recently, I’ve been spending less and less time with people who can’t be happy for the things that bring me joy. By doing this, I’ve not only gained more energy for myself but also for those who genuinely celebrate my wins—people who actually enjoy listening to my ramblings. Energy is such a limited resource, especially for me, and I’ve learned to conserve it for my own well-being and for the people who truly matter.
I can’t remember where I heard or read this, but someone once said that the people we truly trust aren’t necessarily the ones we reach out to when we’re at our lowest—because, in those moments, we often have many we can turn to. But when you think about it, there are only a few people you instinctively want to call or message when something great happens, whether big or small.
And for me, that couldn’t be more true. More and more, I’ve realized that I celebrate my wins with just a very few of my friends and family—the ones who genuinely share in my happiness.
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment, I really appreciate your insight.
I agree, we should be able to embrace and cheer our accomplishments without fear of what others might say. We spend so much time giving our energy to the wrong people. Letting go of those who can’t share in our joy makes room for others who truly want to be our cheerleaders in life.
Your comment about who we turn to is absolutely spot on. When we need help or support our gut instinct leads us to who we need. And often, that’s just one person. Even though it can change depending on the situation, the list is small.
Here’s to knowing who to turn to when we want to celebrate our wins 🥰🤎
I had a friend that I dearly loved. We were on the same wave length and could talk for hours every day. The only thing that didn't fit into the perfect picture of us was this constant feeling of having to hold back parts of me. I didn't talk about certain topics, bit my tongue at times, knowing it could cause conflict or touch a topic she'd react sensitive about.
From one day to another she was out of my life. Or was I out of hers? She didn't respond to my messages, no more daily calls, nothing. It took me a long time to reflect on our relationship and work through all the emotions. I realized that we were only great together when I wasn't fully myself. She never asked to, I am not blaming her. But it was an important lesson to learn. I want to be fully me. if this is a reason not to be friends, let's not be friends.
Thank you for your post. It really resonated with me!
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, I really appreciate you taking the time to leave such an open and honest comment. I’m sorry for the delay in responding, I somehow missed the notification.
I can completely relate to your experience with your friendship. I’ve had similar. It’s so hard to remain friends with someone when you can’t be fully yourself. Although it’s a shame to lose a friendship, in the long run it’s much healthier to let go of it if you can’t be your true self. 🥰🤎